Evan Marc Katz Review: Why ‘Love U’ by Evan Marc Katz Made Me Angry

Evan Marc Katz Review: Why ‘Love U’ by Evan Marc Katz Made Me Angry

If you’re looking for an Evan Marc Katz review (Evan is a renowned American dating coach), you’ve come to the right place! As a former client, I have a lot to say about his comprehensive program, Love U.

Elly Klein: Love U graduate, Class of 2015

American dating coach, Evan Marc Katz, has been helping people find love for over two decades. But the second half of 2015 was the first time he ever ran his 6-month dating and relationship program, Love U – the ‘U’ standing for ‘university’, as the program is so comprehensive. And I was one of 250 women in his inaugural intake of students and graduates. We were his willing Love U guinea pigs.

Who is Evan Marc Katz and why is he so handsome*?

* I can only answer the first part of that question – you’ll have to ask his wife about the second part.

Evan is a warm, funny, incredibly open and unapologetically honest Jewish atheist from Long Island, New York. He’s been based in Los Angeles since he completed his studies at Duke University, as his dream career as a youngster was to be a screenwriter. Although he did have some success, life took him in a different direction – a better direction – as life tends to do, and he ended up as a dating coach for ‘smart, strong, successful women’. He’s married to a nice Catholic girl from Southern California who’s a few years older than him, and has two children with her – a girl and a boy.

How Evan changed my life before I even spent a cent with him

Thousands of single women read Evan’s blog, watch his YouTube videos or listen to his podcast. But I first discovered him when I read Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb (2010), which originated as a magazine article in The Atlantic (2008). His practical, down-to-earth advice helped me into my last relationship. And even though that relationship didn’t work out, I felt it was a step in the right direction.

I was finally choosing men for the right reasons (ie. character) instead of the wrong reasons (ie. chemistry). To be clear, that doesn’t mean chemistry isn’t important. It is. But not as important as character. And so many of us accept sub-par behaviour and treatment when we value chemistry over character. After my breakup, I got hooked on his awesome blog (where you can search for the topic you want to learn more about), bought one of his books and then decided to invest in his Love U program when it launched a few months later.

Why Love U is for women only (and why that’s a shame)

Love U is for women only. Why? Well, according to Evan, women are far more likely to seek out a dating coach than men – and you can’t have a business without clients. It’s a shame but, in general, women want to give themselves the absolute best chance of finding and keeping love, while men want to give themselves the absolute best chance of picking up. So, most dating coaches for men are pick-up artists. Evan’s not a pick-up artist. He’s into relationships and marriage, so that’s what his coaching practice is based around.

Also, as a man who went on around 300 dates over 10 years – mostly thanks to online dating – before he met his wife, he feels he’s able to help women understand men better, stop wasting time on the wrong guys, and start focusing on the right guys. Having said that, most of his advice is gender-neutral. And on the occasions he’s coached men, he’s given them pretty much the exact same advice as he gives us gals. He has also absorbed almost every book, article and statistic on dating, relationships and marriage in his time as a dating coach, and has created practical steps for finding and keeping a loving life partner.

The comprehensive Love U curriculum

The comprehensive Love U curriculum consists of 6 modules that take you right through from bitterly single to happily married. The modules are broken down as follows:

Confidence

❤ Past Baggage
❤ ‘Why Bother’ Syndrome
❤ Confidence
❤ Take Action

Meeting Men

❤ Meeting Men
❤ Flirting
❤ Online Dating
❤ First Dates
❤ Courtship

Dating

❤ Staying Cool
❤ Sex
❤ Being Selective
❤ Becoming Exclusive

Understanding Men

❤ Boyfriend Material
❤ Masculine and Feminine Energy
❤ Alpha Males and Beta Males
❤ Understanding Men
❤ Chemistry

Relationships

❤ How to Talk with Men
❤ Should I Stay or Should I Go?
❤ Jealousy and Cheating
❤ Compatibility

Commitment

❤ Being a Great Girlfriend
❤ Commitment
❤ Breaking Up
❤ Wants Vs Needs

For the Class of 2015, this was hours of video content plus exercises and resources, weekly group coaching calls and an online community (ie. a forum where we could post our dating and relationship dilemmas – and Evan and the other women would offer support and guidance). I believe Evan is now offering the Love U course alone, with coaching calls and/or the community as optional add-ons. Purchasing the course alone will make it affordable for more women, which is great. But the coaching calls and community really helped me to absorb the material so that I ‘got it’ and it became second nature.

My Love U experience and why Evan sometimes wanted to throttle me

I absolutely loved Love U. I found every video riveting – Evan is a great speaker. What he says is so practical, how he says it is so down-to-earth, and his honesty, especially about his own dating experiences and marriage, is so refreshing. (Special thanks to his wonderful wife who allows him to be so candid.)

His listening skills and ability to think on his feet and handle any woman’s question on the coaching calls was impressive. And the community was where we all bared our souls and I made a group of new friends from across the United States and Canada.

We covered a lot of ground, so Evan and I butted heads on more than one occasion. We’re both rather similar and never back down from a robust debate. I’m sure there were a few instances in which he wanted to reach through the screen and throttle me. But it was fine. While we’ll never agree on absolutely everything, we still agree on about 90% of things, which I think is pretty darn good.

Why Love U made me angry (like, super grr!)

So, by now, you’re probably wondering why Love U made me angry. Well, I got so much out of it, it made me extremely angry that these principles aren’t taught, or at least discussed, in schools – or anywhere, really.

Why, oh why, do we learn approximately two-thirds of f*ck-all about how to find and keep a loving partner with whom to form a lifelong union and, in most cases, have children? Doesn’t it make you steaming mad that one of the most pivotal aspects of human happiness – success in dating and relationships – isn’t covered in our educational institutions? Don’t you just want to tear your hair out when you think about the fact that we spend more time on calculus than we do on communication? Unless you’re going to be an engineer, you don’t need calculus. But everyone needs to engineer their own life. And life is all about relationships, so communication and conflict resolution skills are paramount.

Everyone needs to know what qualities to look for in a partner. Everyone could benefit from understanding what makes a modern marriage work. We don’t all have to agree. But we need to start somewhere. We need to open up a dialogue. We need to be equipped with knowledge. We need to have some semblance of control over this aspect of our lives. Or as Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, put it:

“Because when you’re in bed dying of nutsack cancer, you’re not thinking about how Napoleon got over-zealous in Russia or how the Meiji Restoration totally changed the face of Asian geopolitics or how organic compounds are conspiring to make your brain rot. You’re thinking about the ones you’ve loved in your life and the ones you’ve lost. Many things make for a happy life, but few things have as much influence and impact as our relationships do. Learning how to not stumble through them like a drunken asshole and how to exercise some conscious control of how you express your emotions and intimacy is possibly the most life-changing skillset I’ve ever come across.”

Touche, Mark! Touche.

How Love U helped me both personally and professionally

So, how has my love life changed for the better since completing Love U? In the time between graduating from the course and meeting my husband, David, I felt much more in control of the dating and relationship process. I felt more comfortable about being single, meeting men online, going on dates, becoming exclusive, being a great girlfriend and, someday, a wonderful wife, while ensuring my relationship needs were being met.

All men were on a level playing field with me until I got to know them. If we had an initial spark, that was nice, but I waited to see how things unfolded. If we didn’t have an initial spark, but I liked him as a person, he treated me well, and was interested in spending more time with me, I waited to see if the spark developed.

According to Evan, couples should date for 2 – 3 years (with a crack at living together in the 2nd or 3rd year) before deciding whether or not to get married or commit to a life together. Prior to that, it’s just too easy to be swept up by chemistry and that unreliable ‘just know’ feeling.

As for online dating, there’s an art to it. And even though I’d done loads of it, had great success with it and, as a copywriter by trade, wrote dating profiles professionally (which I’m proud to say led to several marriages), I learned even more in Love U about online dating and how to get the most out of it.

How Love U didn’t help me – but might help YOU

In some instances, Love U was preaching to the converted. For instance:

1. I was never a bitter single who’d given up on love. I always knew dating was the process by which we find love, and the moment we stop dating is the moment we’re almost guaranteeing we’ll never end up in a happy, healthy relationship or marriage.

2. I always knew when to move on from relationships that just weren’t working, rather than clinging on. As Evan says, ‘You don’t stay in a relationship because it WAS good. You stay in a relationship because it IS good.’ That might sound obvious, but who hasn’t stayed in a relationship at least a little longer than they should have? Evan re-framed breaking up as an important part of the dating process – not a failure. The longer you’re with the wrong person, the longer you’re putting off sharing your life with the right person.

3. I always knew how to trust my partner and allow him to talk to and flirt with other women, catch up with female friends, and remain in contact with his exes, especially as this is how I like to live. I’m extremely loyal, but I enjoy talking to and flirting with men, I have loads of male friends, and I like to be on the best of terms with my exes if possible. But these were novel concepts to some of the other students. Naturally, everyone’s going to get something different out of such a comprehensive course.

Evan is one of the reasons I’m now happily married

In November 2019, just before the Australian bush fires and COVID-19, my husband, David, and I were lucky enough to have our dream wedding at an epic venue that not only has the most beautiful view of the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House but is also an amusement park – satisfying our love of both water views and the childlike wonder of carnival rides, games and and fairy floss (or ‘cotton candy’, as the Americans call it). Both the ceremony and reception were at the same venue, which was filled with our wonderful family and friends, gorgeous decorations, great food, top-shelf booze, hilarious and heart-warming speeches and… wait for it… karaoke. I took a risk having karaoke as our entertainment – and it paid off big-time! Everyone loved it. And it made our wedding even more memorable.

When we got married, we’d been together for almost four years (living together for two and a half). We met online and I’m proud to be an online dating success story (so proud, I made sure it was mentioned in our wedding ceremony – no hiding, glossing over or embellishing). We met when I was 38 and got married when I was 42. And David was, well, a little older. For his privacy, I won’t reveal his exact age. I’ll just say that he’s extremely youthful in both appearance and attitude. It was a first marriage for both of us and neither of us had children from a previous relationship. For various reasons, we decided not to have children. But we love our fur babies!

I believe Love U played a significant role in David and I finding each other online and nurturing our relationship so that it’s always fun, easy and stable. 10 years prior, I might not have even given David a chance due to my misguided idea of ‘Mr Right’. Now, I can’t imagine being happier with anyone else. My years with David have been the best years of my life. Sure, it was a long, arduous journey to true love for both of us: Tons of dating, ‘relationettes’ and ‘situationships’, countless highs and lows, and too many heartbreaks. But in the end, it was all worth it! Why anyone would ever choose to give up on looking for love is beyond me. I know it can be a rough ride. But if you want someone to share your life with and you’re willing to make a few adjustments to your approach to dating and persist no matter what, I have some great news for you: The odds of finding your ‘happily ever after’ are statistically in your favour! The No. 1 thing standing in your way is YOU.

Evan Vs Elly: Who should you work with?

Here’s the thing… When you (and by ‘you’, I mean ‘I’):

❤ Have been interested in dating and relationships since puberty
❤ Have read countless books on the subject over the years
❤ Have written dating profiles professionally since 2006
❤ Have had a humorous dating advice book published in 2011
❤ Have written numerous articles and blog posts about dating
❤ Have been featured in the media (including TV) as a dating expert
❤ Have invested in a life-changing dating and relationship program called Love U in 2015 with a person you consider: a) one of the world’s top dating coaches, and b) now, a friend, and
❤ Met your husband in January 2016 partly thanks to your aforementioned coach and friend…

It creates somewhat of a sticky situation when you want to turn your passion into a profession and also help women find love. I’m very mindful of not stepping on Evan’s toes because I admire and respect him so much. But I also don’t want to not do what I love and what I feel is my ‘zone of genius’ and ‘life’s purpose’ because I was once his student. He taught me a lot. But he didn’t teach me everything I know. It’s a combination of things. I have my own, unique flavour to bring to the table. I have different experiences to draw on. And I have original pearls of wisdom that came out of my head – not his.

Evan is my colleague – not my competition. It doesn’t matter whether you choose to work with him or me because, either way, you’ll be making a wise investment and maximizing your chances of finding love as quickly and smoothly as possible. I guess it comes down to budget (our pricing is different) and who you feel can help you the most (it’s a connection thing – just like dating). Evan is a veteran with many, many years of experience. But I’m new and fresh. Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

Evan has a handful of other ex-clients who, after working with him, became dating coaches themselves. As far as I’m aware, they make no mention of this publicly. I’m open and honest about the fact that Evan was my dating coach and I learned a lot from him. He calls himself a ‘dating coach’, as most people in our industry do. I call myself a ‘professional dating mentor’. But it’s essentially the same thing.

Who you decide to work with is up to you. You can’t go wrong. Where you can go wrong is by continuing to go it alone and complain to your girlfriends that ‘online dating sucks’ and there are ‘no good men’ out there. A good dating coach or mentor can help you into the loving life partnership or marriage of your dreams with a lot more speed and ease than you can on your own. The fact is there are best practices for finding and maintaining a loving relationship – and it’d help us immensely, both as individuals and as a society, if we all knew what they were. Just because some random friend had a drunken one-night stand that resulted in a happy marriage doesn’t mean that’s a good way to go about finding love. As Evan often says, ‘A broken clock is right twice a day.’ Some people just get lucky and the rules don’t apply. So, where does that leave the rest of us? In need of some formal guidance! Evan and I are both skilled at giving you that guidance.

Any questions?

If you have any questions about my Your Dating Bestie membership community or Evan’s products and services, particularly Love U, feel free to email me and I’ll endeavour to respond to you ASAP. I found love online. Now, it’s your turn!